he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
