i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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