Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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