Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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