feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
