in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
