I puked a lego.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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