Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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