You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
