You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
