No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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