it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
