I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
