i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
