Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
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He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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