Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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