i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
