Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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