R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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