and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
