went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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