At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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