how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
