oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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