I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
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He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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