no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize