dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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