ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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