Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Welp...herpes.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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