If i come over, it means nothing
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I deserve this hangover.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
