Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.

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  (519): oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo. (1-519): like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family. http://tfl.nu/xf88
  Replies (17) Good night (6237) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.

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  (614): every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with. http://tfl.nu/j96s
  Replies (11) Good night (1181) Bad night (2885)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.

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  (601): I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha. http://tfl.nu/8fn5
  Replies (7) Good night (2119) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.

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  (612): Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls. http://tfl.nu/jpdx
  Replies (15) Good night (3205) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.

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  (980): when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space. http://tfl.nu/ayzt
  Replies (14) Good night (5887) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.

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  (770): Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation. http://tfl.nu/ma0q
  Replies (10) Good night (1292) Bad night (524)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..

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  (604): You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude.. http://tfl.nu/bx2g
  Replies (6) Good night (2662) Bad night (480)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I have got to meet this girl.

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  (860): she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW (1-860): I have got to meet this girl. http://tfl.nu/ejln
  Replies (7) Good night (2064) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Things like this can't be explained over text man

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  (678): Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning? (404): Things like this can't be explained over text man http://tfl.nu/zzxh
  Replies (22) Good night (4245) Bad night (1006)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him

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  (216): there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him http://tfl.nu/zgop
  Replies (1) Good night (1093) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.

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  (605): She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating. http://tfl.nu/imu2
  Replies (8) Good night (377) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?

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  (209): Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that? http://tfl.nu/3r87
  Replies (9) Good night (2769) Bad night (356)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day

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  (215): just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day http://tfl.nu/2xr8
  Replies (5) Good night (1093) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being

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  (904): Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being http://tfl.nu/rzj7
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island

  (209): View more from California

  The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have

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  (209): Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island (209): The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have http://tfl.nu/kv13
  Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (455)

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