but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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