Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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