the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize