I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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