then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
