So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
