the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
