Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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