He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
