It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
