I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
