fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize