I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
