Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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