rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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