we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have aggressive nipples.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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