you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
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My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
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I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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