so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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