Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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