Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
