a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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