Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
