Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
