nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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